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Are You An 'Arminian?' (A Test)

Here are a few questions to determine if you are an "Arminian."  This is just a light hearted look at the emotional base of the Pelagian/Semi-Pelagian heresy.  You may choose not to take this test too seriously as you would when you ignore the symptoms of a fatal disease.  I have missed a few on this test myself.  Read on....

1.  Do you watch TBN (Trinity Broadcast Network)?    if yes -1

2.  Do you regularly "come forward" or feel compelled to "come forward" at the end of a church service when the pastor gives the altar call?     if yes -1

3.  Do you replace the word 'think' with the word 'feel' when using a sentence?  (ie. "I feel that the answer to the question is true.")       if yes -1

4.  Do you now carry, or have in your possession, any Jack Chick tracts?    if yes -1

5.  When Billy Graham or Bill Bright speak does what they say elicit an emotional response?  if yes -1

6.  Do you feel compelled to fast when you are searching for "God's will"?  if yes -1

7.  Do you attend a "seeker service"?     if yes -1

8.  Do you believe that Satan and his minions are in Hell torturing all damned people?               if yes -1

9.  Do you feel compelled to attend Dallas Theological Seminary?    if yes -1

10. Is your pastor a graduate of either Fuller or Dallas Theological Seminary?    if yes -1

11.  Do you consider Hank Hanegraaff a theologian?     if yes -2

12.  Do you listen to either Adrian Rogers, Charles Stanley or any radio broadcast hosted by Campus Crusade for Christ?    if yes -1

13.  Do you agree with any of the 4 Spiritual Laws?    if yes -1

14.  Did you read any of the "Left Behind" books or watch the movie?    if yes -1

15.  Do you listen to any radio broadcast that is affiliated with Focus on the Family?   if yes -1

16.  Do you believe in a Pre, Mid, or Post Tribulation rapture?   if yes -2

17.  Do you have any Max Lucado books in your personal library?    if yes -1

18.  Do you feel guilty and believe you could have done more if a loved one or close friend has died without "accepting Christ" as his/her savior?   if yes -1

19.  Have you used the words "turn or burn" or do you have any Christian bumper stickers on your car?  These would also include the fish decal but would exclude pro life stickers.   if yes -1

20.  Does your pastor use extended draws at the end of sentences when he is preaching a sermon? ( i.e. Praise the Lord..a, Praise God..a, amen....a)  and does your pastor cry on a frequent basis when preaching a sermon?   if yes -1

21.  Do you have any books by Bill Hybels in your personal library?   if yes -1

22.  Do you attend any church that's name begins with "United"?    if yes -2

23.  Have you ever had a leg or finger lengthened at a "healing" service?   if yes -1

24.  Do you use the word "anointed" on a regular/semi-regular basis?    if yes -1

25.  Do you now, or have you in the past, spoken in tongues?    if yes -1

26.  Have you ever heard of the following people? Jonathan Edwards, John Bunyan, John Knox, John Calvin, Martin Luther (not to be confused with Martin Luther King jr.)  If no -1

27.  Do you agree with, and promote the writings of Charles Finney?   if yes -2

28.  Have you ever said "Jesus loves you" to a perfect stranger?   if yes -1

31.  Do you wear a WWJD ("What Would Jesus Do?") bracelet or necktie?    if yes -1

32.  Do you use the word "just" many times in prayer? (ie. "I just ask for a pleasant day and just help dad get well, and please just bless those around me....etc).  The word "just" is used in many Arminian prayers, typically in Charismatic circles.    if yes -1

33.  Do you believe that, in your walk of faith, you may have lost your salvation a time or two?   if yes -1

34.  Do you attend a Roman Catholic church? (if yes then deduct 10 points.  This would place you in the Pelagian circle of faith.  If this were a board game then you would go to jail and collect nothing as you pass Go.)

35.  Do you believe Norm Geisler is a theologian? (this sentence is an oxymoron)   if yes -4

36.  Are you a member of Promise Keepers?    if yes -1

37.  Have you attended a Joyce Meyer's conference?     if yes -1

38.  Do you attend an Evangelical Free church?   if yes -2

39.  Do you believe that Christ died for every single person that has lived or will live in the future?    if yes -2

40.  Do you attend church services on Saturday? ( I ask this because some churches have a believers service on Saturday and a "seeker" service on Sunday.  If you answered yes to this question then you probably answered yes to question 7.)    if yes -1

41.  Does you church use a Catechism?     if no -1

42.  Do you raise your hands during a church service?   if yes -1

43.  Do you watch Oprah?   if yes -1  ( you may think this has no bearing on the test, but you would be wrong.)

44.  Do you lock the doors, and turn out the lights during Halloween?  If so then -1.  If you lock the doors, turn out the lights and rock back and forth in a corner rebuking Satan then -3.

45.  Do you believe that most of the troubles of mankind can be traced back to generational curses and omnipresent demons?  ie. Do you believe that there is a "demon of alcohol or tobacco" making people sin?  if so -1.    If you do not know what the word "omnipresent"  then -2.

46.  Do you believe that all references to the word "wine" in the Bible is actually referring to grape juice?  if so then -1

47.  Do you believe the word "World" in John 3:16 refers to every living being from past to future?  if so then -1

48.  Do you carry John 3:16 signs to sporting events?  If so then please stop it,  and subtract 1.

49.  Do you believe that God is rooting for the team that has the most Christians at sporting events?  if so then -1

50.  Do you believe Christian bookstores are actually Christian?  if so then -1

51.  Do you believe that "predestination" is in the Bible?  if not then -1

52.  Does your church recommend the book "The Prayer of Jabez"?  If so then -2

53.  Do you listen to any radio station owned by the Crawford Broadcast company?  If so then -1

54.  If you are in the Philippines do you listen to DZAS Christian radio station or watch 700 Club Asia? If yes then - 2

55.  Do you subscribe to "Christianity Today" or "Charisma" or "Evangelicals" magazine?  If so then -2

56.  Do you attend a church that has the word "Life" or "World" in the name?  If so then -2

57.  Do you plan to, or have you in the past, attended a Bill Gothard seminar?  If so then -1

58.  Do you hold to any part of the dietary laws in the Old Testament?  If yes then -1

59.  Do you think Dave Hunt is a theologian?  if so then -3

60.  Have you read and recommended at least one of Rick Warren's books like "Purpose Driven Church", "Purpose Driven Life" or "Purpose Driven Youth Ministry"? If yes then - 2

61.  Do you attend a church that only has the Lord's Supper once a year, or not at all?  if so then -1

62.  Do you plan to, or have you in the past attended a G-12 Conference? If so then - 2

 

If you answered 'yes' to 5 or more of these questions, or 10 points over all then you my friend are probably an Arminian.  But fear not, this is curable. One can leave heresy.  There are many people who have left the dark, man-centered ways of Pelagianism and Semi-Pelagianism and have found  fulfillment in a genuine "Reformed" church.  Remember, ignorance can be corrected by the grace of God. 

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NOTE: Some are offended with the manner this article is presented. It is thought that we misrepresent God by taking lightly His serious and awful judgment against heresy. We respond by noting that God scoffs and laughs with indignation against the foolishness of those who rebel against His Truth whether by their immorality or their false doctrine.

“He that sitteth in the heavens shall laugh: the Lord shall have them in derision.”

(Psalms 2:4)

 

“The Lord shall laugh at him: for he seeth that his day is coming.”

(Psalms 37:13)

 

“I also will laugh at your calamity; I will mock when your fear cometh”

(Proverbs 1:26)

Some serious bodily diseases begin with negligible symptoms such as perhaps a funny feeling in the abdomen or a tiny lump or itchy rash on the skin. In the same way fatal error shows relatively funny symptoms like worship of man, foolish superstitions, weird religious activities and fanaticism. Arminianism being ever agreeable to the proud sinful human nature takes many variety of symptoms manifested in millions of religious but deluded men and women.

 

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